This is Death.. Not a Divorce !!

Folks.. A long break to come up with a blog which has been roaming in my mind. And it took a while to accumulate this thought to bring out something substantial.. More importantly a disclaimer this blog is about atheism and if you are a theist and if u feel I'm trying to push in atheism into you 'I'm very sorry'. Whatever written here is my opinion and possibly opinion of atheists.. You need not answer any questions.. And I don't have anything against your beliefs.. So just enjoy reading !!

“I love you."

The first time you probably heard this sentence probably is not in your memory now.. Because most likely it is spoken by your parent when you were just born.. Probably not a 100 times at the beginning it not have made sense.

When we grew up books, movies, reality all drove this word Love into us. At 10 we learnt it is a weapon “He loves her!” As a teenager we realized it had a consequence, and never used it till the r'ship reached a commitment level. We learned it had impact.

Eventually learning it can be a hard word to implement.

When we grew up we understood the love of our parents even when they punished us or didn't get us what we wanted at the moment we wanted. But still we could make out the love in it. At a stage we learnt to love somebody romantically (Probably the reason why we cry in a climax scene that says "because.. I love you.."

All of us, in observing relationships, understand there is a point where we categorize the action as “loving” and where we would claim it is not.

And we are all grown up listening to 'God loves us !' whichever God it may be.. From this phrase I didn't think God would give me whatever I wanted if that's what you thought is the reason why I don't believe in him/her.. I know and understand the love even when my Parents punished me or didn't give me what I wanted. I also know in a marriage relationship even without giddy and giggling all the time there is love. I also understand there are times when God has to make hard decisions and don't want him to be an ATM machine. But I expect the word 'Love' to mean what it means in other similar contexts

However there is one significant difference. In all our other relationships, we can communicate, with those involved, or with others, to learn, grow and differentiate as to what is love. With God there was only silence. Sure, others provide their own (conflicting) guesses, but those is all it is—conjecture on the human’s part.

“God, why did my 25 year old friend have to die?”
Silence.

“Is it because he had lived long enough, and you wanted him home?”
Silence.

“Was it a testimony to others, giving them a chance to get right with you?”
Silence.

So we start giving our own theories, and arrive at some queasy solution. An uneasy restlessness, often wondering if we got it quite right. Always willing to re-evaluate and guess again.

For many non believers this silence grew into a disconnect; it become more and more difficult to use a word so well understood—“love”— when as I mentioned there is a huge gap to what I understood about the word 'Love' and the 'Love' used in the context of God. A “loving” God would allow ten-year-old boys to be raped by football coaches? And allow it to continue because the person's reputation is big? Is this the best the so called 'Love' god do ?

I know you theists can come up with something like “We can’t explain it… but maybe _________” but can someone explain “Why God allows kids to starve in Africa” when your car is strewn with McDonald’s wrappers.

If that is your excuse, stop saying “God loves you.” Because it sounds naive even to you..

We didn’t abandon belief in God, because we weren’t getting what we wanted; We understand 'Love' so much that it's not a bed of roses all the time. we came to realize the ridiculousness of fitting the word “love” to someone we immediately and in contradiction, we don't understand. One who was silent when asked something without any support or being against or response of any kind for that matter.

"No God” makes a whole lot more sense than “a loving God who doesn’t act loving, but we assume he IS loving, because any other possibility is too scary to even contemplate.”

It was not a divorce. In divorce the two people are still alive and there are chances of further love somewhere down the road.

This is a death and God was never there !!

Thaya - one and only one..

To my best friend Thaya - the best person I ever met in my life so far..

It all started on a hot summer day in the roughened tarmac of Govt college of Engg., Salem.. A tough NCC guy was spitting out some instructions which we have to follow to get into the Air wing of NCC.. I have seen this tall lad with a spectacles who lives next door in the dorm and studies in the same class.. Never spoke to him though.. Never knew what made us stand together probably the similar height we share or its just destiny.. Getting back to the scene, We have to run in the hot roughened tarmac for about 1000m and selection will be based on the results.. He finished first and surprisingly I finished just behind him.. Selection done and there comes the twist, he has got a blistered feet thanks to the hot tarmac.. We exchanged our shoes to protect his leg and made the long walk back to the hostel.. I still remember that day when I met the best person of my life.. And luckily he turned out to be my best friend..

To tell something about us, we both aren't quite similar.. I am short tempered but I can't be angry on someone for more than 5 mins.. Thaya is quite opposite.. He has a lot of patience but once he loses his temper its tough to calm him down.. Im dominating he isn't.. I take things easy but he pretends to be :) But the things that makes me feel he is the best person I 've met so far is the fact that he keeps friends. loved ones and finally himself in that order.. A simple analogy I can think of is a Jack fruit.. Looks so rough from its shell but try tasting the fruit inside I can assure its worth the time and effort.. A very calm and collective support, one will feel so strong with Thaya at your back.. Simply he lets you be yourself and he ll be the same..

We have been tough at each other on many occasions but at the end of 3rd year somehow we fell apart.. I donot know whose mistake is that till this day.. We didn't utter a word to each other for 3 years... Not 1 or 2.. 3 whole years.. Tried making a zillion calls and attempts knowing how hard-nosed this guy is.. And finally the best part of Thaya comes up.. One night he calls up and started speaking as though he just hung up the phone to pee !! I never asked him the reason and he never told.. Its all understood I guess..

After a long long time got a day to spend with him in Chennai.. We were back to the old form.. Its supposed to be a shopping day (Shopping for his' someone spl :)) ) but asusual we did eat more than shopping !!! Measured the city limits with our bike and backs begging for rest.. Finally packed him up in the last bus to NITT.. When I reached home I got an sms.. Would never forget that.. "Don't wana thank you.. But Thanks da.. Without you it would not have been possible.." To get something out of Thaya is really special when all I did do was serving as his driver for the whole day.. I was so happy it meant a million words to me..

After reaching UK he was one of the very few I still had contact with.. His long long love stories which made me wonder about the side of Thaya I 've never seen before.. :) He likes to give surprises and shocks in weird ways one can't think of.. One midnight he wakes me up to tell he just rode his bike for 100 kms when I was like what on earth that has to do with my sleep ?? We weren't like everyday buddies chatting daily or roam with each other.. But the few mins of phone call every fortnight or so makes a lot of sense than years of being together as friends.. In short, he is the one of those people I can bet my life with..

With his love for giving surprises, he chose March 6, 2011 for his biggest surprise.. He has been playing catching up with me in most things so far but this time he decided to defeat me hands down.. He want to go first and he left us all to be with the gods.. Its been more than 2 months but I still believe he is around us.. He is even reading this blog and probably would have known India are the world champions even before they did.. When all of India celebrated the victory all I could think were the times when we were dancing with our shirts off during Ind vs Pak match in 2003 WC at the dorm TV room.. Finally someone said "Life is not about the years, but the moments where we actually lived", I would better choose the years with him as a friend than a few moments that bring smile and tears together..

I would say "Donot rest in peace so soon".. We need you with us.. Miss you Thaya..

Movies in 3D but Education in 1D ??

Folks.. Nice to meet you through this blog after a really long time.. You know the typical pressures and frustrations of PhD is riding on me that kept me away for long..

So this blog actually did start in my mind when I went through an article this morning which stated the interview with Azim Premji (CEO, Wipro tech. ). Well lets peep into the core of the problem before coming to a possible list of solutions..

Everyone loved when technicians gave a 3rd dimension to all their comical creations.. From the 'Adventures of Narnia' & ' Harry Potter' to romantic tales of 'Tangled' have been stealing the heart of people irrespective of ages.. People even look for 3D televisions to see things as reality.. We expect reality in smaller things like entertainment but are we really multi-dimensional in our educational approach ?? (I would add a few more question marks there !!)

Everyone wants to be a professional !!! Professional in our definition includes Dr, Engineer and Lawyer. I wasn't sure about the definition of professional but when I looked into the dictionary it said 'following an occupation as a means of livelihood or for gain'.. I don't see a word describing what work it should be !!

Then what is that created the stereotype in following these studies blindly ?? I couldn't think of more than a few reasons 1. Money 2. Peer pressure 3. Feeling of financial insecurity 4. Respect to fellow beings

The first 3 points have been spoken about a million times so I would not touch upon that. The last "Respect to fellow beings" though is quite a tricky subject which only few people realize as long as they are in the society divided based on people's livelihood. I had a conversation with a friend, a British citizen of Indian origin who has lived all his life in Britain. A few interesting things that popped up were

1. In Britain or for that matter where there is a concept of minimum wage, everybody is treated with respect. Simply because everyone could afford a decent life. A janitor need not be looked down in anyway compared to a guy working as a banker. Moreover if not for the Janitor we will all be living in shit !!

2. A simple realization in my mind of how still servant maids are being treated in most Indian households. Where they are fed, what they are fed and how ?? What is the quality of life that someone who cleans up the streets, serves you in a restaurant or someone who does farming enjoys ?? A big negative !!

Your minds must have been asking you a lot more questions depending upon the sufferings you might have seen around you.

Teach your children human values before the value of money.. No profession is inferior.. Give them the choice to choose their profession. By forcing Engineering or Medical courses you might be killing another Sachin, P T Usha, Mother Teresa or even Mahatma Gandhi..

Will you see with something interesting next time.. Signing off :)